We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
