My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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