maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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