we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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