i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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