I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
