i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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