Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There's always time for handjobs
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
