I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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