sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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