Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
