I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
