Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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