Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
