I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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