Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
