Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I should be sponsored by Trojan
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize