ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
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