i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
