her vagine was all disorganized.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
