How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
