Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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