It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
