You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
