I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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