why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
