We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
