69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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