I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
