and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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