I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize