where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
