When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
