dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
