Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
