I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
