school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
