...so i touched it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
