Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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