I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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