I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
