Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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