Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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