just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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