just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
