Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just google imaged poop.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
