I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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