my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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