Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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