so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
