Apparently you make a good broom.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
