You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
