So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
