That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
