Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize