Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
