That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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