Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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