that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
