Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
