She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
