whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
