Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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