she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
