I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
