Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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