Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
