i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
