plz talk dirty to me
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
