a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize