Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
