I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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