Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
