Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
