There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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